God. I am SUCH A LIAR.

I keep saying this thing is starting up again, then real life comes flying at me and pow. I've tried to keep my real life out of this as much as possible because it's my writing journal, specifically. But I haven't been using it at all, and I feel bummed. Maybe part of that is because I've hardly been writing at all. Failure!

I'm having trouble settling on a novel lately. I think I could get more writing done if I could find something promising to work on. The problem is, I have something that I enjoy writing quite a bit, but I have this weird stigma in my mind that's making it hard for me to work on it. Meh. More on that later, I guess.

At any rate... um, hi? Yeah, what, it's been like... three months? Or so? I started school again, and things are going well. Some of you know me on my other journal, but I was ill for a while, and that made it hard to keep things up. It's chronic, so it's just something I'm having to learn to deal with. But see, I want to get more involved with this journal. I want to start talking to a steady amount of my writing friends again. So please tell me that's still possible!

I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to go to add_a_writer or whatever, again. I know a few of you are still kicking, but apparently in all this time that I've been gone, things have changed drastically, and some of my writing friends don't even write anymore. I dunno. This is what I get for disappearing.

At any rate, for the few of you still posting, I'm gonna try to spend the next week or so trying to catch up with all of you. I hope everyone is doing well!

P.S. I'm reading House of Leaves right now. Seriously, wtf? I think I like it, but wow. Anyone else read this trippy, complicated experimental-horror novel?

You know... I think the best thing Steve Martin has ever written is the movie Bowfinger. It's just one of those comedies where everything works. I mean, even if I didn't think it was funny, which I do, I'd have to be impressed by how the little details tie together. It was just such a creative idea. I've never seen anything quite like it.

I strive to write something like that. I want to do a full length comedy, and I want it to be epic. But comedy is something that hits you, it isn't something that you can force. That keeps me a little frustrated. However, if I can write a damn monologue about lint that earns me a standing ovation, I think I can find a way to pull this together. Humor is where I shine. I'm just better at it than drama. So I need to find a way to turn that into something successful for me.

There has to be something in this brain. I've done it before. I just wish I knew how. How the hell have I written all of the things I wrote before? I know I can do it. I just need to keep trying.

You ever want to write really, really badly, but you're in a bad emotional state and you just can't? Right now I need to immerse myself in writing, the idea of writing, writing blogs, writing everything. This needs to be something I do every day. I lost myself in this illness and let it take from me something I dearly love. Well no more! I have the very unreasonable dream of being able to someday live off of my writing, and if I ever hope to reach that goal, I can't stop. I need to write every day, and I need to stick with a routine. This is gonna happen.


So, on that note! Would any of you like to chat on aim or something specifically about our projects? I would love to just discuss your work and mine in general, the process, whatever. Anything writing related.

Also, are there any great writing blogs out there that I should be following? Blogs that talk about the publishing world? Book reviews, even. I just need to immerse myself in this.

I'm going to start by getting back into this damn LJ! So, if you have mainly writing related posts on your journal, I should be commenting soon. Again, if you'd like to chat, now or in the future, let me know! Talking to fellow writers gets me "in the mood." For writing. >.>



ETA: I just made a new screen name on AIM specifically for my writing. You can find me on there:

crazywriterlady

Talk to you later!

Pfft. I lied. Oh how I lied. I came back, thinking things would be swell, and instead, I had a MAJOR crisis in my life. This interfered with writing and LJ in general quite a bit. So, here I am, humbly crawling back to this journal and hoping I'll be able to get some activity going.

Uh, for anyone who uses Dreamwidth, I'm now on there:

http://elysiadawnielle.dreamwidth.org/profile

(ETA: Nothing like leaving space for a link but posting no link there, eh? Now it's up. Huzzah.)

Feel free to add me. So um, sorry for vanishing. How are all of you doing? How's the writing going? If you're so inclined, I'd love a comment filling me in on what you've been working on, your writing in general, etc. And slowly, I'm going to bring myself back into the online writing community.

I have things to tell you, but I'll save it. For now, hello again! How I've missed you all! I hope not to disappear again anytime soon, and I hope you don't hate me for my absence!

So, I'm feeling MUCH better than I was before. However, it appears that in my absence, many of you have vanished. A lot of you don't seem to be posting much anymore. This makes me sad.


I'm really struggling to get back into writing, so I hope you guys are still at it and active on livejournal!


PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!!! If you post often, I probably already know this. But then, if you comment to let me know you don't hate me, I'll at least be put at ease. ^^;; If not, that's fine. I have A LOT to catch up on. I'm sorry I've been gone so long. Seriously, I missed talking to everyone on here!

I need to write. God, I need to write.

I can't even think about LJ right now, really. I read it a lot, especially for inspiration. But even the words of a comment don't come easily lately. I've been unable to bounce back after the trauma of the last month or two. Bouncing back was my biggest strength, so I'm scared to see that falter.


My confidence in my writing has faded significantly in the past few weeks. Suddenly I'm finding ever reason to hate my work, and it's frustrating. I want to be able to snap out of it, but all I can do is stare at my computer and inwardly criticize my ideas.

I can't do what I did with acting. I can't suddenly take something I have such passion for and tear it in two out of spite and anger. But writing is something you're good at or you're not. People can tell if you're faking it, and more and more I just... don't have that confidence that I used to.

Maybe I'm just too lazy. There's nothing I can do right now but keep trying. I need a huge dose of inspiration right this instant. I need to write more than you could ever know.

So, the horror isn't over, but again, you don't really want to hear about all of that. However, school is out, and bit by bit, my sanity returns. I'm slowly focusing once more, and even started working on a new writing project.

I call it Small Mercies. It'll likely just be an online piece. I still have to deal with my novels, my editing, and the slew of horror stories writhing in my head. But I have a month and a half with which to do so, so hey.

In the meantime, I need to catch up with all of you! I missed talking with you guys, but I have been reading your journals. Now I just need to comment it up and make you feel a bit more loved, right? Lol, more later!

Two and a half more weeks.

Two and a half more weeks.

Two and a half more weeks.

Two and a half more weeks.


I try to keep telling myself that as the hours pass and I still haven't written anything, still haven't commented on the many posts I wish to comment on, still haven't done any of the things I need to do for reasons the readers of this journal don't need or want to know. This journal is FOR writing, so it's hard when my writing muse has been stabbed through the chest and pinned to the wall with a giant pencil. He's struggling to breathe, and now and then, he reaches out and snatches at me, and I get a little relief. But for the most part, he's choking and crying, and I'm feeling bad, because I can't get to him through all of the bookwork piled around him.


...I'm sorry muuuuuuuuuse!


And I'm sorry LJ. I will be back soon, and the writing talk can commence.



JUST TWO AND A HALF MORE WEEKS.

Sorry. One more thing, guys. Mind giving me a hand? I really need a name for this sucker.


Poll #1290192 YA Horror Series Title
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 15

Ok, so my YA horror novel is being written and the name is up in the air. Which do you think sounds best for something geared toward the older YA audience, say 13-18?

In your personal opinion (as in, if you were reading), do you think a horror story starting with something sad would ruin the mood? For example, if the main character were to lose a loved one before the monster experiences, would that take away from the atmosphere?

Thank you!

Hey you guys! I just wanted to drop in and let you know I'm still alive. Please don't give up on me! I did something with my school schedule that I thought I could handle and I just can't. But I only have a few more weeks of it, and I know things will be much better when that huge stress is gone.

I hope all of you guys are doing well! When I come back, I'll comment on everyone's journals, respond to comments, etc. Sorry it's taken me so long.

But while I'm here, who all is doing NaNoWriMo? I know I'm gonna fail, but it gives you a boost at least, lol.

Miss talking to you guys! But I'll be back soon! Good luck in your writing!

Ugh! I'm so sorry. I disappeared again. The past few months have NOT been nice to me. It's difficult to filter out the stress and focus on creativity, so when I can I don't have a lot of time to get on livejournal.

I'm back, though. Hopefully things will start to go uphill and I'll be able to focus again. I'll be able to respond to comments and posts again. ^^ Gonna do some of that today.

My friend, Robin, stopped by today, and after talking to her for a while I feel like I may be on another writing kick. I'm excited about that. Maybe I'll get something done today! Of course, I have two huge tests on Monday and a huge project due Tuesday, so I dunno how much I can manage. Worth a try though, right?

How have all of you been? Writing going all right?

Hey, has anyone else noticed that most writing books and things in that vein are all geared toward very beginning writers? I'd like to find more that are geared toward experienced writers who are open to new methods or ideas. I don't need to be told how to create a character, plot or dialogue. I don't need to know how to interest the reader, or how to end a story. Then again, I guess I don't need a tutorial anyhow. I pick up most of what I do on my own. But it would be nice to read something by a successful writer that was written for someone who isn't picking up a pen for the first time.

At any rate, it isn't super important. Reading those things, even when geared toward amateur writers, tends to inspire me for some reason. I guess anything writing related gets me going. So let me go put that into practice.

BBS WITH COMMENTS AND POST FEEDBACK, ETC!!!

Ugh. I HATE when stress gets in the way of writing. It'd be one thing if this were just normal stress but...

Grr. Anyway. Wrote another chapter of the tentatively named City of Thorns. The fact that I've written this much actual content, and not just notes, suggests that I may actually finish this in a reasonable time. I think I'll post what I have soon to see if last chapter makes more sense, and to gauge if the second is too info-dumpy. I'm thinking I need to rearrange how some of the info is given.

Soooo... I'm writing Painted Doves backwards. For some reason, a lot of my inspiration has been for the ending, so when the words come, I write. Needless to say, as the cathartic moment of the story, I've been crying a lot. XD

In other news, or maybe not so much, I'm a foreshadow whore. Anyone else like that? It has occurred to me in the past. But more and more I realize just how... into it I am. Heh. I think I like it a little too much. It's not like I don't have a real reason behind it, but I think I just love letting my readers play with what I give them. Let them guess. See what their imaginations come up with. It's enjoyable to have my readers kind of interact with me.

One of my favorite parts of writing Lock and Key was when my readers would try to guess what the foreshadowing meant. XD Sometimes it even helped me to notice an aspect of the story that I'd missed. Having that group perspective can be really helpful in a first draft.


Uh, never finished editing a piece, like I should but have been too stressed to do. BUT-- I sent out something.. kind of weird. XD I sent out a story synopsis to this comic creator. I know they get a lot, so I'm not expecting anything. It was worth a shot, though. I think it's a pretty cool idea. But if they don't like it, I'll just write it and post it for free. As cool as it'd be to see the idea drawn out, and to get paid for it, plain old free print is fine, too.

So that's me. Sorry I haven't responded to comments or posts the past few days. I'll get on that through out this week. Someone make my brain work better! ARGH!

I talked to my mom and my dark comedy really started to solidify. I still have a lot of kinks to work out, but I have the beginning. This'll take some effort to write. As much as I love dark comedy, it does take a different amount of work than a more dramatic theme. But I think it'll be all right.

Ok. I'm gonna say it again, and you guys have to help me by yelling at me, and stuff, ok? I'm GOING to finish editing one of my short pieces today, and I'm GOING to send it off to one of the publishers that accept e-mail submissions. I have to! No excuses! I'm lucky to be female (and unlucky, argh) because this weekend I have an excuse to avoid the random endless parties and such that keep being thrust at me. Not that I don't want to go, but with school, too, I don't have the time I want to write.

Sooo..... I have to pick which short story to edit! It's so hard to figure out which one needs the least work. Because when I think it's one, it ends up being another! Argh.

Also, I'm not sure which genre would be easier to find a publisher for today. I've already done a lot of research but it's been a while, so those bookmarks don't make sense to me. I dunno. I'm going to make a list. If you have suggestions by what you see as far as which I should go for or good publishers to try, feel free to make them.

Gonna hit up http://www.duotrope.com which is like Disneyland to me. But even with that help, specific magazines or whatever would be cool, too!

( List of shorts and their genres... )

And don't worry. I won't hate you if you don't look. XD It's sort of a way for me to organize them, anyhow. I really just... need to get this crap cleaned up and sent off!

So yes. You heard it here first! Elysia is going to actually get off her butt and submit something today! I've already forgotten how to do a cover letter in an e-mail! Hurray! *goes to look up her resources again*

My iPod does not understand the writing process.

I really do need to make a specific playlist for each project, rather than a single "inspiration" type list. Because... yeah, going from Imogene Heap to Korn is... a bit disruptive. XD

So! Guess what! I finally have some semblance of a dark comedy plot! I've been saying over and over that I need one, so I'm very excited! I don't know all the ins and outs just yet, but I'm encouraged nonetheless.

I think this'll be an opportunity for me to string a lot of old ideas and characters together. I'm getting more and more ideas for it as time goes by. And then, it occurred to me, my years of working in retail can now be put to good use! I always cracked up everyone else with stories of my torment. Why not attempt to profit from it? Oh my, and the truth is truly stranger than fiction.

It's funny, because I feel like this is a big break through, writing a novel length dark comedy. But most of what I write has a dark element to it. I don't even realize it until other people mention it, lol. And even my dark things, horror included, tend to have an underlying element of black humor. Or maybe that's just if you're sick and twisted? *cough*

I started writing fics (original, not fan) again, somewhat. They aren't taking over my novel and short story writing, but I'm definitely getting some kinky ideas lately. XD I'll see if I can really keep my online originals going while jugging my shorts and novels, with school and a social life, and stress. And the bodies in my trunk.

Anyway. Going to try once again to get some things polished this week and weekend. I have endless plot bunnies poking me in the head, though. They often come late at night. I should be sleeping earlier, but they're particularly active then. I wish I had one of those think-typewriters like in TommyKnockers.That'd be badass.


On a side note, what kind of music inspires all of you to write?

I personally like passionate, deep or complex songs. Songs that tell a story, songs that paint a picture. Depending on what I'm writing, something that really sets the mood.


( Songs I like for different moods in a story )


I have to go to school now. ;___; I want to stay home and write! But I have to do my homework in the 45 minutes I have left before I have to go. >.>

Thank you so much to everyone you read and left feedback to my Young Adult intro! I really appreciated it. I may post it around LJ some more, later, once I get the chance to polish it a bit. If you want to check it out and haven't yet, you can find it HERE.

I've still got some entries bookmarked that I have to read, so if you've chatted with me at all, or left a comment, and I haven't commented on anything of yours just yet, it's because I'm still adjusting to school. You're on the list, trust me! Gonna get that done this weekend.

Still trying to think of a name for that novel. For the moment, I'm calling it City of Thorns which is meant to be something of a biblical reference and a reference to being caged in. Sacrifice, no ability to break free. However, not entirely sure that I'll stick with it, because that doesn't seem like the book is about the city itself and... I don't know, maybe I'm just thinking into this too much, lol.

Do you guys think I'll actually finish something this weekend, as far as editing? Think I'll really send some things out? Hahaha... we'll see if I can really do it this time.

Beyond that, the goal for this weekend is to finish all of the short pieces I started and maybe post one of them:

* Who We Become
* A Strange Gift
* Her Mind's Garden
* Rosa in Disneyland

All but one of those short pieces made me cry while I was writing it. XD One, in class, too! Ugh, so embarrassing. I was in the front row and everything.

Btw, I've been thinking a lot about critique. It's a tricky thing, both giving and receiving. People tend to get defensive about critique, or easily hurt, on occasion. Or sometimes, they give in too easily and forget the rule-- NEVER let someone else change your story. If you feel it's right the way it is, keep it. Not every advice given is good advice.

But what was really standing out to me is how some people will give you constructive criticism and you'll appreciate it and work on it. Then others will give it and it'll be more like, "Look how great I am. You're obviously lesser in comparison. Would you like to see my five degrees?"

This, unfortunately, is a common problem with writers who are a pretentious people in general. Giving critique is often an opportunity for a person to stroke their own ego at your expense. Critiquing should be about helping someone to be their best. If those are not your intentions going in, you have no business critiquing. I haven't had any truly bad critique for a while, but I've seen it given. Attacking someone won't do a damn thing. No one thinks you're cool!

I'm going to post on that later, but for now, here's a nifty link sroit put in her journal, about critiquing:

Etiquette for Giving and Receiving Critique


Talk to you all soon, and thanks again!


P.S. Wtf, Battle Royale? You're sick and wrong, and yet you make my simultaneously want to write something bloody and nab me a hot Asian boy... amirite?

I took a bit of a break. Sorry about that, to the few of you I communicate with on here! I have personal things going on, and school's started, so I'm trying to juggle that with my writing. My writing which has suffered the past few weeks.

On the plus side, I did write a new short story. Something awfully depressing, in my opinion. I don't know why I have this gift for writing the very thing I like to avoid. I admit, I adore sad songs. But I'm so sensitive, I can get depressed easily from a story. That's all right, though. It's never just melodrama and endless despair. I think it's just the fact that I have a thing for closing lines, and that may be what strengthens my writing in the drama and horror genres.

Titles and closing lines. Those are probably my two favorite parts of short fiction, lol. I was so proud of myself when I shocked my Creative Writing professor with the closing line to A Chance Encounter. He gasped in the middle of reading it and everything. XD Hahaha... But the story in itself was actually the weakest piece I'd written in the class. That was because I was writing it for the closing line. I realized that after I wrote it, but I still had to turn it in. Oh well. Nothing a revision can't fix, whenever I get around to it.

I'm having a little anxiety over my writing again, but I can't let it get to me. I keep saying I'm going to do things that I'm not doing. I really hate my brain sometimes. Hopefully something will be submitted by the time this week is through.

Hm. The short story I wrote recently is still unnamed. I think I'd call it speculative, maybe. It's realistic in a sense, but has a sci-fi fantasy feel to it. Or maybe just sci-fi. It involves Alzheimer's which is a personal fear of mine. Not for myself, but my father. His dad died of it, so... Yeah. Pretty horrible way to lose a loved one, in my opinion. But that got me thinking, and that was the end result. Maybe I'll post a piece of it and see what you guys think. I'm kind of proud of it, to be honest. It's not like anything I've seen before. I mean, everything's been done, but I don't get that glaring "overused with a new twist" feeling I get with most of my own writing, and the writing of others.

Gotta post the weird inspiration my dreams have given me when I get the chance. But sorry for being absent! Talk to you all soon!

I'm sitting in the dark with just the light of my computer, and bugs keep landing on me. It's really annoying. Where are they all coming from?

I did "a lot" of work on Painted Doves yesterday. In comparison at least. I wrote 2620 words of actual story, not just additional heaps of notes. (I have NEVER taken as many notes on a story as I have with PD. It's just that complex and difficult. Murr. x_x ) So I'm proud of that much at least.

Coincidentally, I was just discussing my lack of feeling inspiration for lead female characters, and suddenly an old, stewing idea popped up. It's horror, and YA, I believe. We'll see. But the fact that it's horror is odd, in a way. I've been encouraged numerous times to try writing a dark humor novel, and a few times a horror novel. But both of these things can be hard to write at that length. I have a slew of horror shorts, but haven't ever really put a lot of thought into a longer horror project.

The girl in the story is suffering through PTSD, but is also experiencing unusual abilities after the incident that sparked both. Yeah. I know how that sounds. But I'm confident in my ability to avoid Sue-dom. The character really does want to be a girl. I can't force her to change genders. That's just rude.

Oh, and got a lot of work done on Her Mind's Garden which may be a little longer for a short story. I'm not sure. Maybe I'll post the rough on here. I have one major problem with the plot, and it'd suck if I had to change the ending. But... well... we'll see. Best of luck to all of you, my little writers!!! (and even the non-writers. ^^)

I'm sorry about the rambly post before this one. My sleep schedule is so messed up and I've been out of it and kind of grumpy for a few days now, hiding from friends.

On the writing front, I started working on the YA novel idea, as well as an idea involving a female main character, which is very rare for me. Coincidentally, someone brought up the idea of female characterization on one of my writing communities.

What about all of you? What do you tend to lean toward when you make a female lead? What things repel you in a female lead?


Also, we were discussing the idea of bringing in character description. I've had a few ideas for methods to do it, but sometimes it can be tricky. We don't want character description to disrupt the flow, but we don't want people to wait until chapter five to find out what your main character looks like. I'm not a fan of the "mirror" method. But I'm usually fortunate enough to find a way to work in the description without things being awkward.

What about you guys? How do you handle it?



Btw, I apologize for the poorly written posts and/or comments. Typos, weirdness, whatever. Hoping I can get back onto a regular sleep schedule soon.

ETA: I just realized I haven't eaten anything in two days. Yay for meds that make me lose my appetite, and meds that make me have low blood sugar. No freaking wonder I feel like crap. No writing can be done until I can eat!

Ugh, I'm sooo hungry. Wow. The guy on T.V. looks like Tim Curry and Dave Grohl's love child. That's like, my dream man!

But you don't care about that. You care about my beyond-slow climb to fame! RIGHT?

Anyway, in the shower yesterday I came upon a potential idea. See, I was lamenting the fact that I'd written this long (excruciatingly so) novel that I'd been releasing online. I started writing it when I was about 19, and after a year break, I posted the final chapter in April. I liked elements of the story, but considering my age and the things that I was interested at the time, the story had some issues, not to mention, an inappropriate length. (around 150k words, I think it was?)

So I figured I'd written that entire thing for nothing. I mean, there's a chance that I may re-write it someday. I have some ideas that would make it so different I could probably get away with submitting it for publication, but I don't know if it'd be worth the effort, considering some of the subject matter. I write for me, but I do keep in mind my audience and the potential for sales.

That in mind, I've been heavily considering Young Adult lately. It's a hot market right now, and it seems to be the new "in" for many new writers. At once I feel hope that I can break into it, and fear that I won't when I see books like Twilight flying off the shelves. Maybe I don't really understand what entertains people. I mean, I think I do. But will it mean sacrificing my own style?

Anyhow, this idea came to me to combine the my desire to work on a YA novel, and to salvage some of the novel I'd already written. I have a lot of oppression themes in my novel, and the characters involved were all unusual in that they had bizarre abilities. I noticed that as I was writing, a lot of things I'd read or seen were working their way into the story. The Serpent Under the Rainbow, the story of Moses, even the history of Australia. All of those ideas, on their own, were interesting enough. So if I could just take those ideas, and lose the sex, rape, violence, death and mayhem, at least graphically, I could warp the story into something younger people could read. I'm excited to see how it pans out. I mean, I'll be making new characters all together, and I have a tighter plotline this time. But I think that'll only add to things.

I want to make the ending open enough to create a series, if the book is picked up and the interest is there. In a story like this, I don't think that'd necessarily be a problem considering the nature of the story. A government system that big can't be defeated so easily, especially with... well, that won't make sense at the moment. I'll wait until I've written it. What say you?

Btw, if anyone is even reading this far at this point, what do you guys think of a series starting with one character's perspective, then moving to another's in the next book. I never had a problem with that as a kid. I liked it, though sometimes a book was more enjoyable if it was a certain character, so that risk is there. Basically, I have an idea for a series, but the character in my mind is female. I wouldn't mind that for a single book, but for a series, I'd need to throw some male characters in there as leads, for various reasons.

Anyone have an opinion on that? Thanks if you read this, heh. Long posts.

Well, I was hoping I'd be able to sleep early tonight, but that isn't happening, so maybe I can get some writing done.

We watched a horrid movie today that inspired me to write a slew of random things. I've been thinking of this movie script for a while now... But scripts are hard. I have two looming over my head now, and I've never written a script that was longer than a scene or two. I mean, I used to write my own monologues and scenes, but this is a little out of my league.

Scripts. Ugh. I don't know the first thing about getting something like that published. I don't think I have it in me!

But in other news, I do feel like a failure for saying again and again that I was going to send something out, but STILL not finding the time. I mean, a big part of this is the situation with my apartment. It's so cluttered. I just don't know what the hell I'm doing. On the plus side, though, I have my meds again, so I can finally focus. I feel so much better when my mind isn't jumping around. I can actually get things done. So, granted I can get out of socializing, once again, tomorrow-- writing will be done, as well as submitting!

Hell, I just have to do it. I've researched it enough. I have folders full of potential publishers. Just... gotta get it out there.

One problem is picking the stories that are ready enough. I would love to send Her Mind's Garden off soon, but I kinda need to finish writing it first. I'm thinking of forcing myself to get it out, like I did with my Creative Writing projects the majority of the time. That seems to work in my favor. I can go back and clean it up afterward. It's a thought at least.

This post is more of a ramble than anything. I wish I had something substantial to say here! Ugh, 3:30? For real? I need to get to sleep. Good night to all of you! Hope you're well!